Let us briefly be

kvothes:

x

tallestsilver:

doorstoplord:

Hey y’all wanna see the worlds most appropriately unhinged phantom of the opera as it came up on my FYP?

I need to know where this is from

moki-dokie:

furiousfinnstan:

@stvksn on ig

i hope your god has asked you for mercy and i hope you’ve refused to forgive him

is so insanely powerful. that’s gonna be seared in my brain for a long time. fuck.

stewy:

huge fan of reading and learning, but also an even bigger fan of sleeping and being unconscious.

snakeeatery:

i love the pedestrian-to-car staredown when you see them go from a rolling stop to a full stop. like that’s what the fuck i thought. vehicularly manslaughter me about it

sacred-portal:

only-tiktoks:

sebbgod:

Is he wrong, tho?

dduane:

kittydesade:

abronzeagegod:

libraford:

katy-l-wood:

synebluetoo:

an-autistic-with-personhood:

guerrillatech:

Why would you hide that in the notes

I want an ice maker and enough room in the freezer for a pizza and that is IT.

I want the dumbest fridge you got. Gimme the orange tabby of refrigeration. I want my fridge to pull the wrong lever and turn my enemies into llamas instead of killing them. I want the following features: keeps things cold, has compartment that keeps things colder, a door that opens and shuts.

“Here at Stupid Jeff’s Dumb Appliance Warehouse we sell the dumbest fucking appliances. Check out this fridge. This fridge won’t ask you about your day, this dumb fucking fridge doesn’t know what an Elon Musk is and won’t fucking tell you what bullshit that dumb monkey is slapping into his phone today when you try to get some fucking milk. We took out all those "smart” electronics and in their place we put a loaded Glock 9mm that is put right up to that light that turns on when you open the door, which is the smartest thing in this fucking stupid fridge and let me tell you that fucker is on thin goddamn ice, if it gets too smart and tries to turn on before you open that door, the Glock will blow it to hell. Speaking of ice, this stupid fridge makes it. It makes ice, it keeps things cold, it comes with shelves. It’s sturdy enough that when your ex comes back to your place looking for their stuff that they think they left behind like nine months ago and they know that you don’t have it, but they wanted an excuse to come start a fight with you and throw a chair at your head but miss you and hit your fridge MICHAEL, this fridge will keep trucking because it gives zero shits and it only lives to keep things cold. Come to Stupid Jeff’s Dumb Appliance Warehouse, if you ask us if we have an app, we break your kneecaps.“

The only apps I want my fridge to have are appetizers.

:) …This.

crithir:

thatswhatsushesaid:

thatswhatsushesaid:

be the cringe-inducing insincerity you wish to see in the world

or don’t. spare us

thanks @nieyao I just choked on my lunch while reading these tags

gothiccharmschool:

lilaeleaf:

Some poor suffering gobs!!

I love these and I wish to adopt them.

balthazarslostlibrary:

balthazarslostlibrary:

Saw a photo of a pigmy seahorse for the first time and it looks like the personification of illness

World’s most sick man

manywinged:

manywinged:

okay but “the symbolism is Real and Trying to Kill You” is my favorite kind of symbolism

like yeah the monster is a representation of your unresolved trauma and guilt and a manifestation of the sins of your past but it’s also a real creature and it’s going to fucking Get you

disgustinggf:

manywinged:

quit your job. join my rat king.